Are your kids back in school yet? I know I’ve been counting the days for a couple weeks now, eager to be back to a routine and structure in our home. But as the first day back draws near, I’m noticing something else that often accompanies the return to school - anxiety. My oldest will be starting middle school this year and has had trouble falling asleep this week. He also can’t seem to decide which shoes are the right ones for starting a fresh school year. Difficulty sleeping and indecisiveness are just two common (but often overlooked) symptoms of anxiety. Are you noticing these or other signs your child might be feeling some back to school anxiety?

Kids often aren’t able to articulate feelings of anxiety like we do as adults. Their fear and worry often show up in more physical ways, like the unexplainable tummy ache just minutes before you need to leave for school, or a huge tantrum that seems out of place. It’s so easy to turn these moments into power struggles, but what our children need at such times is first and foremost to have their concerns validated. Let them know you see them and understand their fear, “I see you’re having some big feelings right now, and that is normal.” Simply having their feelings acknowledged often takes the intensity out of the moment. Of course, they might need some calming strategies too. Teaching kids basic mindfulness skills has become commonplace in schools, but emphasizing these techniques at home goes a long way as well. You could start with some simple deep breathing exercises, and move on to a 3-3-3 mindfulness strategy. This is done by noticing 3 things you can see, 3 things you can hear and then moving the body in 3 ways. This is a grounding strategy that works by distracting the mind from anxious thoughts and focuses back on what’s happening in the present moment. Providing our kids with tools to cope with their feelings empowers them and reassures them that emotions don’t have to be so scary.

Of course, you might be feeling some back to school anxiety as a parent too. Take some time to try these techniques yourself, and give yourself some grace. Parenting is not an easy job.